幸福 ～ 無國界

<Zoe@9m5d 今年回台灣時特別帶 Zoe 去看親愛的外婆>

一年前的這一天

趁著芝加哥盛夏裡難得的舒爽

老公和我第一次帶著還未滿月的 Zoe 上街曬曬太陽

熙來攘往的人行道上花團景簇

週五開了一早上的會

期間

坐我旁邊的資深總監接到一通電話之後

就一語不發淚眼婆娑地匆匆離席

會議室裡的其他人見狀

都不免關心到底是什麼事讓她難過地中途離席

今天～10月20日～是母親的第一個冥誕。

母親還在世的時候，

我會在母親生日的這天打越洋電話回台灣，

祝她生日快樂，

然後在掛上電話之前，

上週四晚上將 Zoe 留在芝加哥給老公照顧，

我一人匆匆地搭乘來回四十幾個小時的班機返回台灣，

在台北短暫停留十七個小時，

只為出席母親的告別式和葬禮。

回到台灣已經是當地週六的清晨。

Another sleepless night at 37 1/2 weeks pregnant ....

But I can't help losing sleep over thinking of my baby girl who is coming any day now and my sick mother who is losing her battle to cancer after fighting it bravely for two years.

I am in a race with time....hoping my baby girl will enter this world before my mother exits this world, so that my mother can at least leave peacefully knowing that the grandchild she has been looking forward to meet is finally here.

However, everything is out of my control - I cannot speed up my baby girl's journey to make her entrance, nor can I slow down my mother's final journey to make her exit.

I can do nothing but wait helplessly .... for the bliss of birth and the despair of death to collide in the coming days as I make the transition into motherhood. 

So help me God.